Greenbush Kitty Swim
I overheard some hoomans talking about something called the Shinkuhtig Pony Swim. I do not know anything of this placed called Shinkuhtig other than the front desk hooman, who deserted me, used to live there and it is a land far away. Many hoomans visiting with her would comment on how far her drive to work was every day. I know that she only did it to be around me. After all, who would not want to spend every day with me? Well, I guess now I also know about some pony swim that happens every year there and everyone gets all excited about it. It seems weird to me for a bunch of hoomans to get excited watching some ponies swim in the water. But, to each their own I say. This pony swim has given me the idea for the first ever Greenbush Kitty Swim. I know you all are really excited because, if you like those ponies, you will just LOVE a kitty swim.
Step 1: Find A Location
So, I need to find a location for this. Shinkuhtig is supposedly surrounded by a lot of water (learned something else about this place). The ponies have a lot of choices on where to swim. Greenbush does not have this availability. As a solution to this, I have decided that one of you kind hooman visitors can allow the kitty swim to occur in your swimming pool. I have looked on the Facebook and I know that quite a few of you hoomans have a pool available. I saw that one of you was even doing some excellent renovations to your pool area. I appreciate one of you hoomans kindly donating your pool to this swim. You will forever be in my good graces.
Step 2: Get A Herd Of Kitties
I have given this much thought and have a brilliant plan for this as well. I am going to borrow some kitties from that officer hooman that comes in to the clinic all of the time. She has quite A LOT of cats. I really do not know where she comes up with all of these cats! If you ever want to get a cat, she is the hooman to see. Big and small, plump and thin, any color (that front desk hooman even got one from her that had only one eye)….she has them all and in abundance the way I understand! I know I can borrow some from her. If, for some reason, she would not have any available, because all of you hoomans chose to adopt them, I know of several places on the shore where herds roam free. These kitties are not as friendly and might be less likely to join my cause but I am sure some could be persuaded.
Step 3: Convince Kitties To Swim
This is the hardest part of my plan. Contrary to popular belief, we cats do possess the innate ability to swim. Our bodies are surprisingly well adapted to swimming with our flexible spines and strong limbs that allow us to paddle efficiently in the water. Some breeds do show more affinity to water than others but, I do not have time to be choosy about my kitties. I need quantity for this swim to work. Now, just because we can swim does not mean that we will. Whether a cat chooses to swim or not largely depends on their individual personality and past experiences with water. I think you all know my stance on this. Bettie is not a lover of water and swimming. That is why I am the organizer of this whole thing. I am just going to have to gather a group together and properly interview candidates for my herd.
Step 4: They Have Swam….Now What?
So, everything has fallen in to place and I have somehow managed to get these kitties to swim. Now, what do I do with this fine herd of kitties, you say? Well, this is THE BEST part of the plan. They get homes, of course! That is what happens to most of those ponies that swim. I checked! I, Bettie, have managed to help the homeless and help clear shelters all with one event! I bet that officer hooman will love me for that. She might even give me an award of some sorts. I better hurry and copyright my idea before someone steals my brilliance!
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