Happy New Year hoomans! I hear that you hoomans like to make something called New Year’s resolutions. These are apparently personal goals that are made at the beginning of every year. They usually are a positive change or improvement that someone wants to make in their life. Only about 10% of you hoomans actually stick to these goals and most of you give up on them by February. I feel that I can work with these odds. In light of this, I have decided to make some New Year’s resolutions that I probably will not keep.
For my first resolution, I have decided that I need to take more selfies. Everyone needs more of Bettie. I want to expand my social media influence and increase my friend list. I can be world famous. I know everyone wants to see me. Why else would anyone come into the clinic?
For my next resolution, I am going to develop some self control and learn to relax when that bearded doctor hooman pokes and prods at me. Maybe, I could take up yoga and help release stress with some stretches. I want to see good comments in my health record like “Good Kitty” instead of “Muzzle, Will Bite!”
Next, I am going to kick a bad habit and try not to leave “presents” for the worker hoomans outside of my litter box. Enough said on that one!
Also, this will be the year that I am going to improve my hunting skills and catch dot dot! To do this, I intend to perfect my pouncing skills and work on a more silent approach. Dot dot has evaded me for way to long and I think that 2026 is the lucky year for me!
Finally, I would like to have more “me” time. I could take more naps and master my napping techniques. I need to expand my sunbeam snoozing territory and find the best sunbeams for optimal basking. You would think I would have explored everywhere by now but I keep finding more unexplored territory.
Now, I know you hoomans usually have the common resolution of losing weight. You all are probably wondering why I did not name that one. Well, that ship has sailed for me! If anything, I would love to refine my meow to get more food! That bearded doctor hooman has been telling me and everyone who will listen for years that I need to lose weight. It is not going to happen bearded hooman! I will not give up my treats or my beloved wetsies. On that, I am going to just be the same ole Bettie.
