Bathing Beauty

They gave me a bath. Yes, you heard me right….A BATH. How dare they! I was minding my own business and got snatched up because THE DOCTOR told those worker hoomans to bathe me. “Why did this happen?” you ask. Who knows his reasoning? Apparently, it was under the guise of me needing my winter hair thinned out. I guess he never heard of a brush! I spend a lot of time grooming myself. I thought I was doing a great job. I threw up one too many hairballs and now he thinks I need some help with it. I think someone was tired of cleaning up my messes. Once again, those worker hoomans are to blame!

We cats are typically self-cleaning. Most lucky cats go their whole life without needing a bath. Some cats must have a bath either on an occasional or regular basis. If your cat dislikes water, like me, only bathe that poor cat if you absolutely have to. It will save stress on the cat and you! Obviously, no one here cares about my stress!

So, if you hoomans feel you absolutely have to bathe your cat, I am here to make sure you get this right. I know you all love my personal tips and pointers. So, here goes:

First of all, make sure you have all of your cat bathing supplies ready before you start. You will thank me for this tip. One of the main things needed is cat shampoo. Be sure you have chosen a shampoo specific to cats. Not all dog shampoo is safe for cats. Read the labels carefully. This is not just to make sure that it is formulated for a cat but to also make sure it does not need diluted before use. If you fail to follow the directions on the label, you could irritate your cat’s skin. You will also need a sprayer, pitcher, cup, or whatever you plan to use to wet and rinse your cat. A wash cloth or wipe is necessary for face cleaning. An ear cleaner and cotton balls are needed to clean ears. Grab a nice fluffy towel for drying after the bath. You can use a dryer instead but only if your cat will accept this. I prefer a towel. It feels wonderful getting rubbed after the bath torture. Now, for THE most important bath supply….a treat for a reward. Your cat has undergone torture and is owed this!

Now that you hoomans have gathered all of your supplies, we can get started.

How to bathe your cat step by step:

1. Wet your cat from the ears back. Make sure that the water is lukewarm and not too hot or cold. We cats have sensitive skin. Use a sprayer, pitcher or cup and wet your cat from behind their ears to their tail. Then, you can use the sprayer, cup or even your cupped hand to wet the underside. If necessary, you can carefully use one hand under the front legs to lift them up to wet the underside. Avoid getting your cat’s head wet, especially around the ears. Excessive moisture in a cat’s ears can cause an infection.

2. Apply Shampoo and Lather. Lather your cat from the neck down, paying particular attention to the genitals and under their legs. Make sure not to get any shampoo in the eyes. If you have help, one person can hold the cat while the other scrubs.

3. Rinse, Rinse, Rinse! Shampoo residue can irritate your cat’s skin. Make sure it is all washed away. Once you think that you have thoroughly rinsed your cat, check every everywhere and I MEAN EVERYWHERE —then rinse again. For cats with long hair or dry skin, you may want to apply a cat conditioner (be sure to read the labels and make sure it is for cats) after you rinse the shampoo out. Remember to rinse after the conditioner.

4. Wipe Your Cat’s Face and Clean Ears. Use a grooming wipe or a damp washcloth to wipe your cat’s face. Follow directions on the ear cleaner to clean your cat’s ears.

5. Dry Time. Towel dry your cat as well as you can. If you have a cat that tolerates it, you can use a dryer on a low, cool setting. Do not use any heat settings and do not scare your cat!

6. Reward Time!!! Now that you have finished, give your cat plenty of treats, playtime, snuggles, wetsies or whatever their favorite thing is. I demand all of it! By giving rewards to your cat at the end of the bath, they might agree to endure the torture because they know what comes at the end……unless they are like me. I never accept it and go down without a fight!

Bettie