Vaccine Day

I cannot believe a year has gone by. Surely, it was just yesterday that this was done to me. I tried to mind my own business and slip by unnoticed. One of them worker hoomans had to snitch me out…..I am sure it was that tall one. The bearded hooman never remembers things on his own. But, here we are again, me versus THE DOCTOR on VACCINE DAY.

It started as a day like any other. The worker hoomans came in and did my bidding. They cleaned my home for me and gave me some wetsies. I saw a spider and thought about chasing it but decided I was too tired for this. It was a good day! I was lounging around, minding my own business when the hushed talking began. The tall one then started click clicking away on the keyboard. Then I heard it clearly, my name. I was apparently overdue on some vaccines. They said it was because it had to be rescheduled multiple times. Surely not! That does not seem possible. I know it was just yesterday that this was done. I mean last week at the most!

So it begins. The one with the fancy jaws in her hair snatched me right up and put me on that cold table. I guess she is the one who will help with this torture. The bearded hooman they call THE DOCTOR stalks over. He thinks he is stealthy at this maneuver but I assure you that he is not. I always know when he is coming at me. He starts by talking nicely to me. Nice try bearded hooman but I know your purpose! This is not our first go around. He begins the poking and prodding. He even pulls my lips back to check my teeth. I will gladly show you some teeth bearded hooman! Then, he sneaks in and I feel a sting in my tail. Yeah, you heard it right….MY TAIL. I scream! It seems to go on forever and then another sting in my tail. I continue to scream, fight and resist. Then, a sting in my front leg. It is a full on assault like in one of those horror moovies you hoomans watch. Sometimes, this bearded hooman even wears a mask like in those moovies. Finally, he walks away. I feel as if I have won some of this battle because at least there was no toe harvesting…..THIS TIME.

I know the tail thing shocked many of you so let me offer my wisdom as to why I get some vaccines in my tail. So, normally they would go in my leg but I only have three. Vaccinated cats have a chance of around 1 in 10,000 for the development of a fibersockcoma (I know it’s a big word and I am sure I spelled it right…..well, maybe) after getting vaccines. This is a type of tumor that is best dealt with by removing it (dreaded surgery) and often requires removal of the leg. They have already harvested one of my legs and THE DOCTOR does not need any more….at least for right now. The tail can easily be removed (I guess they need those!) and for that reason it is a good site to give me my vaccines. Unfortunately, the tail is a difficult location for the administration and it hurts more!

I was sad all afternoon after this ordeal and also tired. A battle like this takes a lot out of you. The one I like the best gave me a blankie. I snuggled with this for the rest of the day. The tall one came in and gave me extra wetsies too. I am sure this is guilt from her ratting me out! I did not even care that they were rearranging the whole clinic for some hooman to come called the floor guy. This happens from time to time. He must be important to get this reception. I will have to explore his purpose later.